A ship set sail almost three years ago and though it was a small ship, it was constantly upgraded and improved till it became a large and stable ship. Recently, the ship sailed into rougher seas... Very soon, as the storm came in, the ship lost control and steered towards a coral reef. As the ship headed to the coral reef, everyone on board was willing with all their might that the ship can turn off the course of eminent destruction and towards safety. It was however, not their day.
The ship cruised into the rough coral reef and as the corals scrapped against the hull of the ship, everyone n board looked with fear. Most jumped off the ship except for the two who made the ship what it was today. They knew, it was either let it sink or to save the ship. The hull was breached by the time they got to it. Water was gushing in by gallons and gallons. As I bailed the water out anxiously and with everything I could muster, it wasn't helping the ship to stay afloat. He decisively tried to fix the hull while I continued bailing gallons and gallons of water in a bid to save the sinking ship.
Those people that jumped off the ship saw the ship's eminent destruction and was certain of its doom. However, with a lot of perseverance and effort, the two finally managed to fix the hull and stop the leaks. They continued bailing the rest of the water out and soon, the ship was afloat once again, despite the certainty that those people who abandoned the ship had that the ship was certain for destruction.
This is the main crux of my story with my boyfriend over the past few weeks and months. This is one of the reasons why I've not been updating my blog regularly. The other reason being me too lazy to do that.
To my boyfriend that might be reading this, I love you and thank you for choosing me and not to follow the others and abandon the ship. I hope that this ship of ours will continue to sail towards our destination which will be filled with mystery, joy and happiness. I want to spend my entire life with you! You might not believe this but I know that you are the one for me. It seems, no matter what, you are the only one with the knack to calm me down when I am really angry and the ability to make me smile in my time of extreme sadness. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there with me during all these times. I want you to know that I really love you and care for you. And I want to do that for the rest of my life. I hope you will allow me this request.
Love,
Clarevoiyant
Showing posts with label clairevoyant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clairevoyant. Show all posts
Monday, January 20, 2014
Confessions
With the onslaught of confession pages that popped up in the last year itself, it's a wonder how this is my first confession ever. It's not really a confession per se, but, I don't think I'll be able to handle saying all these in one sitting to my boyfriend though I really do mean every single word I typed here.
Hi Boyfriend XXX,
I'm not sure if you will see this post at all. I think I'll start by saying that I'm lucky to have you in my life. The past few weeks and months of our time together has probably been the roughest patch we've ever hit so far, and, I guess I am lucky that we still held on even midst all those uncertainties, anger and sadness. From the past few weeks XXX, I've come to realize that you mean the world to me. Even as you had feelings for someone else, I'm glad that you came through and still chose me in the end. For that, I'm happy enough. Actually, I'm very happy. Though it still doesn't change the fact that I hate it when you two spend time together. It's a gut wrenching, heart stabbing pain...
For the next many weeks, which you will be on course... I'll really miss you. So, I want to do something special for you on the weekends before you head for the course. I hope you will enjoy what I've come up with. I'm not a great baker but I hope they represent my love and will be tasty...
What I really want to say is that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You say that as I go through university I might find someone else, but I find everyone else dull compared to you. You might say that I will choose someone else in the end, but, after this three years, I've come to realize that no one else will suffice except you. Even if they look better or behave better...no one...NO ONE will ever replace my deary XXX!
So anyways, I just want to end this off with a lyrics of a song. Alicia Keys - If I ain't got you.
"Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah
Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
No one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby"
I hope through this we grow stronger together, I still am working towards owning a house together so that we can share every single moment together. Let's make that materialize ok XXX?
Your bf,
C
Hi Boyfriend XXX,
I'm not sure if you will see this post at all. I think I'll start by saying that I'm lucky to have you in my life. The past few weeks and months of our time together has probably been the roughest patch we've ever hit so far, and, I guess I am lucky that we still held on even midst all those uncertainties, anger and sadness. From the past few weeks XXX, I've come to realize that you mean the world to me. Even as you had feelings for someone else, I'm glad that you came through and still chose me in the end. For that, I'm happy enough. Actually, I'm very happy. Though it still doesn't change the fact that I hate it when you two spend time together. It's a gut wrenching, heart stabbing pain...
For the next many weeks, which you will be on course... I'll really miss you. So, I want to do something special for you on the weekends before you head for the course. I hope you will enjoy what I've come up with. I'm not a great baker but I hope they represent my love and will be tasty...
What I really want to say is that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You say that as I go through university I might find someone else, but I find everyone else dull compared to you. You might say that I will choose someone else in the end, but, after this three years, I've come to realize that no one else will suffice except you. Even if they look better or behave better...no one...NO ONE will ever replace my deary XXX!
So anyways, I just want to end this off with a lyrics of a song. Alicia Keys - If I ain't got you.
"Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah
Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
No one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby"
I hope through this we grow stronger together, I still am working towards owning a house together so that we can share every single moment together. Let's make that materialize ok XXX?
Your bf,
C
Sunday, October 27, 2013
AudioFlies: JBL J55 on ear headphones review
JBL is an old brand that made Hi-Fi sets and home theater systems back in the 1990s. Later in the 2000s, JBL started with their own making of speakers for the computers and other media and while other companies such as Denon and Sennheisers continued their advancement in developing their portable headphones and earphones, JBL didn't follow suit. Recently however, the company was acquired by Harman. Together with Harman's expertise in making portable speakers and headphones, JBL once again got into making these amazing headphones.
The Good
Potability
These earphones are not the type of gigantic earphones (Like the J88) that seem like the type of cans to stay at home because carrying it around will not only be ridiculous but also inconvenient. It is firstly comfortable and though it sits on the ears, the soft foam and soft leather does a great job to cushion the ears. It is comfortable and when tested with my boyfriend, he couldn't hear any sound leaks from the outside. Good news! People on the outside won't hear what you are listening to. Conscious people all can put to rest their worries that their music might affect others. Also, the earphones come with a neat design which allows for your earphones to be folded inwards so that it takes up lesser space, making it the real portable earphones.
Design
The design of the headphones includes two brush aluminium plates that covers both sides of the cans making it a close back headphones. This probably contributes as to why the outside world cannot hear your music. Also, there is a metal band on the top to reinforce the plastic band so that it doesn't break so easily and is lodged inside the plastic band so that only a portion of it can be seen.
Sound Quality
These pair of cans do pretty well in terms of the lows and the highs. Though it doesn't fair too well on the mids, it is generally acceptable for its price. These cans probably need some sort of internal equalizer to boost the bass because a low driver cannot boost an impressive bass for the headphones. I got to say however after the equalizer, there was significant increase in the bass for the cans. It not only boast a powerful bass, it is also balanced and has a stunning sound stage. Almost every instrument from Adele's Skyfall can be heard while her voice was warm and simply stunning but at the same time, it was overpowering. If you use together with a amateur amplifier, you would most probably get a much better sound response from these cans. Overall, I would say these cans are the most worth for its pricing. It generally is priced at around SGD 150. For its build quality and its design, I don't think you can ask for more.
Design
As I have said before, the design is stunning and beautiful. However I have one fault with these earphone design. That is the lack of an L shaped audio jack for your device which makes the placing of my phone in my pocket uncomfortable especially so when I am bending down.
Sound Quality
These pair of headphones have rather bad mids in exchange for its heavy bass. The bass is not overpowering so luckily, that means not much of the mids was sacrificed to achieve such a bass response. These headphones were not build for extreme audiophile usage such as for a concert hall effect, therefore its sound stage would not be able to beat the Sennheisers Momentum. However, for its price again, I would like to stress that it has an impressive sound stage and can still differentiate up to 5 instruments at one time provided the song hardly has an overpowering bass. Due to its high impedance of 32 Ohms, these pair of cans require a equalizer or an amplifier. If you are on a tight budget, I would recommend you to get a Fiio Fujima E06 which costs anywhere from SGD$35 onwards. If you have no intention of buying an amplifier, I suggest you use your pre-installed equalizer in your phone/device or if your device doesn't come with one (like my HTC one V), you can install Rocket Player which in my opinion has a decent programming without much glitches and also boast a good companion for these headphones. Also, this player can also play FLAC or lossless music file format which will ensure you only hear the best!
Overall Verdict
I would only suggest these headphones for people who like design, comfort and leather ear phones. Budding audiophiles interested in R&B, Jazz or Pop music will be suitable for this pair of cans. For symphonic and classical music lovers however, I am afraid that the sound stage of these cans will only stand to disappoint you. If you would like to purchase these headphones at a discount of SGD100(excluding delivery fees), email me at clarevoiyant_backpack@hotmail.sg with your
- Name
- Mailing address
- Contact Number
- Meeting point for cash and carry
- Colour. White, Black or Orange
Please note that the headphones sold at a discount will not have a warranty. Also, delivery is only available when convenient. Cash and Carry preferred. Colours for selection only available when stock is available. I will not be liable for any missing mail. Please contact me if you have any queries.
Food Escapade: Tea Breaks @ DeConti
Notice how I placed an "s" at the end of the "tea break" because we actually had a few tea breaks or coffee breaks there. DeConti recently set-up an outlet at the Tampines 1 shopping center and has proven a popular place for many even though there were strong rivals near it such as the coffee bean and tea leaf just a level upstairs, another CBTL at century square about 200 meters away and a Starbucks at Tampines Mall just 150 meters away. It is successful to the extend that we always have a hard time finding for seats and we got to say the sitting area is rather small. For such a great place for coffee and gelato, surely more seating would be necessary. I am sure they have seating capacity of roughly 20-30 pax at most. That means many people are driven away just by the sight of the packed coffee house. Of course, the aroma of coffee would likely draw you back to the place only to be dismayed by the lack of seats. Fear not however, you just have to wait for awhile most of the time before you get a sit there. Besides, the staff there seem to be very friendly and I am sure they would most willingly help you to get a seat.
On our first trip there, we used a groupon voucher that enabled us to get 12 dollars worth of coffee and gelato. We happened to choose the same item as our first ever trail of deconti and had two affrogato. It is essentially vanilla gelato drowned in espresso. Since DeConti is good for their coffee and gelato as stated on their logo, why not have both combined together? So here, we present the Affrogato.
If you have trouble comprehending the menu, you can ask the staff or the cashier who are all more than happy to explain to you each and every of your queries (and even in detail) - from our own experience. Just don't blame me if you are stuck in a long explanation from the cashier for your query.
The second time we went there, we used the last of our vouchers. I had a cappuccino as always while my boyfriend ordered the dark chocolate coffee which is essentially a layer of melted dark chocolate, a shot of espresso and then finished with a layer of milk froth and dusted with cocoa powder.
This drink is a little of a weird combination. Firstly, the drink itself had a cold and warm mixture. The base is probably the dark chocolate gelato which later proved to be over powering to even taste the espresso shot. All I tasted was the chocolate not to say it is bad but coffee lovers probably wouldn't like this drink a lot. Chocolate lovers would like this drink especially if one need a coffee boost but don't like to drink a cup of cappuccino. This would awake the inner you that loves chocolate. Try it and you'll understand. It's kind of like a chocolate gelato affrogato.
Just today, after spending the last voucher, we sat down and both ordered a cappuccino each. At just 5.5 for a medium cup, it was decently priced. Though it would be better if I had added 70 cents for either a hazelnut, chocolate or pistachio gelato into my cappuccino. Overall, we enjoyed our experience there and that explains why we keep going back there (also because it is conviniently situated around the east area which we stay at).
Deconti Store front @ Tampines 1
The Store front showing the different size cups for different types of beverages you order.
The gelato here was on the sweet side but the good thing about the affrogato was that the espresso shot was bitter due to the extra dark roast variety of beans that they use. So, the sweetness of the gelato complimented the bitterness of the espresso. The affrogato here is based on the standard ratio which promises three generous scoops of vanilla gelato coupled with a shot of espresso. Too much for you to handle? You can always order a smaller version which is typically half of this. The is the medium order which costs SGD$ 6.20. Not too pricey for 3 scoops of gelato and a shot of espresso. Actually, I think it's a great deal since one scoop of gelato costs 4.90.
Affrogato. 3 Scoops of vanilla gelato and a shot of espresso.
If you have trouble comprehending the menu, you can ask the staff or the cashier who are all more than happy to explain to you each and every of your queries (and even in detail) - from our own experience. Just don't blame me if you are stuck in a long explanation from the cashier for your query.
The second time we went there, we used the last of our vouchers. I had a cappuccino as always while my boyfriend ordered the dark chocolate coffee which is essentially a layer of melted dark chocolate, a shot of espresso and then finished with a layer of milk froth and dusted with cocoa powder.
Just today, after spending the last voucher, we sat down and both ordered a cappuccino each. At just 5.5 for a medium cup, it was decently priced. Though it would be better if I had added 70 cents for either a hazelnut, chocolate or pistachio gelato into my cappuccino. Overall, we enjoyed our experience there and that explains why we keep going back there (also because it is conviniently situated around the east area which we stay at).
Verdict
Ambience - Good
Food - Great!
Cost - $5-7 per pax
Overall - Must Try!
Address
10 Tampines Central 1, #02-K2
Tampines 1, Singapore 529536.
Opening Hours
9am till mall closing time
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Blog haitus (a week) and My crazy boyfriend's mind
Me and my boyfriend has been on quite the food adventure lately. And with that, there has been a slight misunderstanding of my intents. I merely just want my food loving boyfriend to enjoy his food and have fun simply because seeing him smile makes me really happy. Clearly he thought of this as a sort of "prisoner's last meal before the officer shouts 'dead man walking'." Well, obviously I didn't intent for a great dinner to turn up scaring the shit out of my boyfriend thinking that I would soon break up with him. But, it definitely was quite funny when we had a talk later (over the phone) about what he felt, and had the cheek to say that he thought it was his "last meal". Of course, it was darn hilarious. I would think he didn't laugh because he felt more embarrassed by it. But heck, it really is funny and that's how cute he is.
Anyways, the adventure will be told in another post after this. I will then attempt to explain why I didn't have the chance to blog in the past one week or so. Sorry people. It was definitely tiring for me too with my diploma exams, the last minute studying and all the nights I can't sleep because I am not with my dearest boyfriend. I don't know when I developed this reliance of having him next to me before I sleep very very very well, but, I just don't feel refreshed and awake when I sleep and wake up without him next to me. I guess the fact he is there gives me the feeling of being protected and comfortable enough for me to relax. I do know that prior to our overseas trip, my boyfriend always had trouble sleeping with me (not in the dirty way you are thinking. Just sleep. Sheesh!) which he clearly kept to himself not wanting to hurt me. So yeah, now he tells me he can sleep beside me comfortably. That's a win for me then.
Anyways, truth be told. I've not been blogging because I am plain lazy. Ha! Yes. I am lazy. I just had my exams and I think I ought to have some time for myself. I've been using this time to catch up to my favorite animes: Naruto and One Piece. Disappointing that Naruto had so many fillers. Obviously I didn't use 5 days to watch the measly few episodes I missed in the last 2 months. I spent the rest of the time shopping online and yes, I broke my month's budget yet again! Darn those good offers! I'll show you what I got when it all comes. Btw, I also watched pewdiepie's channel on youtube. I don't really like to subscribe to channels so yeah, I'm not a bro. But that said, if he makes more crazy wheels videos I might join the bro army. Anyways, I would like to congratulate pewdiepie on being the most subscribed channel on youtube surpassing Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift! He's so hilarious if you haven't yet watch him, go view his vids! I'm sure even the person who doesn't laugh ever will laugh at at least one of his videos! Binkt is my favourite name he uses. Binkt the ball, binkt the squishy thingy he throws and binkt the journey eagle thingy. Let's bring the hate on the barrels!
Anyways, the adventure will be told in another post after this. I will then attempt to explain why I didn't have the chance to blog in the past one week or so. Sorry people. It was definitely tiring for me too with my diploma exams, the last minute studying and all the nights I can't sleep because I am not with my dearest boyfriend. I don't know when I developed this reliance of having him next to me before I sleep very very very well, but, I just don't feel refreshed and awake when I sleep and wake up without him next to me. I guess the fact he is there gives me the feeling of being protected and comfortable enough for me to relax. I do know that prior to our overseas trip, my boyfriend always had trouble sleeping with me (not in the dirty way you are thinking. Just sleep. Sheesh!) which he clearly kept to himself not wanting to hurt me. So yeah, now he tells me he can sleep beside me comfortably. That's a win for me then.
Anyways, truth be told. I've not been blogging because I am plain lazy. Ha! Yes. I am lazy. I just had my exams and I think I ought to have some time for myself. I've been using this time to catch up to my favorite animes: Naruto and One Piece. Disappointing that Naruto had so many fillers. Obviously I didn't use 5 days to watch the measly few episodes I missed in the last 2 months. I spent the rest of the time shopping online and yes, I broke my month's budget yet again! Darn those good offers! I'll show you what I got when it all comes. Btw, I also watched pewdiepie's channel on youtube. I don't really like to subscribe to channels so yeah, I'm not a bro. But that said, if he makes more crazy wheels videos I might join the bro army. Anyways, I would like to congratulate pewdiepie on being the most subscribed channel on youtube surpassing Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift! He's so hilarious if you haven't yet watch him, go view his vids! I'm sure even the person who doesn't laugh ever will laugh at at least one of his videos! Binkt is my favourite name he uses. Binkt the ball, binkt the squishy thingy he throws and binkt the journey eagle thingy. Let's bring the hate on the barrels!
Pewdiepie and his epic brofist ending (always does it in every single video)
Monday, July 15, 2013
POP.
Yesterday was POP(Pass out Parade) day for my boyfriend. I went with a mutual friend of his to see the proud moment that he was announced as a trained soldier. Though I had to wake up early, endure the drizzling (because the idiot sergents on duty refused to let us use the umbrellas and didn't even offer to give us ponchos). Anyways, I'm a sort of soldier and so, we endured the cold. But surely, it would've been tougher for my baby boy. He had to walk/run 24 kilometers and didn't really sleep the previous day. So he was pretty tired to say the least. For me, I am pretty tired because I woke up at 5 30 to catch the first bus there when usually I wake up at 8 on weekends. If I was tired, I can't imagine how tired my poor baby was. When the time came, it was a massive crowd of people and there was about 1000+ soldiers that were on the floating platform. I tried my very best to make out where he was because I was sitting so far away, with practically everyone looking like my boyfriend from far.
I spotted him in action at least even though I didn't manage to take a photo with him afterwards and see him. I thought I wanted to surprise him but it didn't work out in the end. Knowing my boyfriend, he says I wasted my time. But, I feel I didn't. Instead, I got to feel what it is like to POP, soaking in all the intensely furious, anxious, happy and sad atmosphere that is oozing from all the recruits. Happy that they are finally done with the first phase of army, anxious for the new vocations, happy to see their friends and parents that "form the basic support group for the recruits", sad to leave all the friends and buddies they made during BMT. All these I didn't get to feel except the last one when I OOT (Out of Training) in my BMT. I left School 4 with sadness leaving my buddy, my friends and acquaintances that I made in two months of doing shit and almost everything (short of bathing and something else naughty) together. Though I left with smiles on everyone's faces (except my fucking sergent which I totally hate because he keep picking on me for no rhyme or reason), when I was leaving in the bus and on the ferry, I was just remembering the good and bad times we had together and it was a truly wonderful experience. I say NS is a waste of time save the relationships and friendships that you make from these two odd years. Of course, they endured throughout and all survived (except for tall chest 'something I call him'... he was lifted out from Tekong in a Super Puma/ Chinook to the Hospital for a gash on his face after he fell on a curb... Ouch!) My buddy: I'm sorry for leaving you half way through the journey but, my medical condition was deteriorating and I think I couldn't have done better than all of you. Though I left you, you were still independent and I guess my friendship with the other guy paided off because you two were closer and were more like buddies. In a way, he took over my place. And though I haven't yet congratulate you for becoming a sergent yourself, a big heartfelt congrats from your EX-buddy who OOT-ed! And one more thing: Remember Sergent Wxx Qx, don't be like him. Don't abuse your authority. Let your recruits follow you and respect you instead of hating and fearing you.
After the march and the display and speech and award ceremony which was all in the cold morning rain (or when the cold wind blows... when the cold wind blows), there was an interesting part where the military band came out and performed to stall time. For my friend beside me who was a regular at attending POP, he said it was something new. Indeed I found it entertaining when they played oldies and suddenly switched to pop songs like Adele's Set fire to the rain and then Lady Gaga's Bad Romance which is the video below. You can click on the link if you want to view the video. It's not much and its pretty poor quality coming from a iphone 5 camera.
https://distilleryimage11.s3.amazonaws.com/de7e63daec1b11e28e8022000ae81479_101.mp4
On a side note, my teacher was there too but I didn't bump into her. Her son was in that batch too. This was a picture taken by her. Judging from it, I went when the skies were much brighter. Talking about kiasu.
Monday, July 8, 2013
It's time to work hard: For me and my Boyfriend.
Well, it's finally here: My final exams are round the corner. Exactly in one month's time from now, in the midst of NS and all, I'll be done with my part time diploma and have myself the capability to earn more than my current measly pay by about three times! Of course that will still have to wait till my NS is over. While there is assignment and studying to be done on my part, my poor baby has to do his first (and hopefully last) 24 km route march to his glorious end of his basic military training. I won't be there to watch him do that amazing feat (for which I was excused from in my days of bmt) because his family will be there and it would take a lot of explanation as to why a boy is attending in place of his sister. Of which they have only had a glance previously. I would definitely not have anything to talk about and much less stammer the whole way because I am such a bad liar. So he didn't want me to go. Besides, we promised that if we were to come out, it would be a time when we both felt comfortable. And telling your in-laws you are his/her son's boyfriend is a double shock. Imagine knowing the fact that your son is gay and the fact that he has a boyfriend. It could go both ways. One, the mum/dad already knows and says something on the line like, "Oh. I already know lah. Psst. *whispers* He's a hottie!" Or, the less desirable way when he/she breaks down, maybe starts swearing and hopefully not have violence involve.
I know for one that my family isn't very receptive of homosexuality (I guess it is a typical asian parent thing). I won't be having it easy when I come out though I did leave a few traces of my being one here and there for them to speculate since I am pretty much the normal boy save the fact I love dicks. Each time I did, I rated their response and so far, it doesn't look very promising. Well, I just hope they take in those information and piece together and finally come to terms with it before my actual "coming out" so that it will be less of a problem when it does happen. Eventually and I envision it to be soon. Maybe in about 5 years? There are times when I do feel like I am tired. Tired of all these 'pretentious lies' that I am "going out with my friends" when it is my boyfriend I am going out with. "Oh, this is just a friend", "I'm going overseas with friends". All of these lies. I can't really tell lies so each time I do manage to slip over one, I feel like I die a little inside. I just hope my coming out to be a better story than I hope it'll be.
Btw, I think my boyfriend is a smart, cute and adorable little boy. I just want to hug him and snuggle up to him every moment of my life. He is however on the depressed side and tend to think of negative things. I guess it is just his personality. But I do love every aspect of him except for him always running late for dates and his negative outlook on almost everything. But, asides from all that, he really is a sweet boy. A little on the scrawny side but I like to call it slim twink-ish. I do have similar body shape but I have more pronounced pectorals and biceps despite the fact he in physically exercising and I am not really doing it on as regular a basis as I want it to be (I do chest building exercises like maybe once in two weeks). It is true that in a relationship, sex can be excluded. However, if a relationship is to last long, sex is necessary.
Why do I say that? Well, when sex is performed, it releases a lot of dopamine. The central neurochemical player behind falling in—and out—of love is dopamine. Dopamine is the principal neurochemical that activates your reward circuitry, the centerpiece of the limbic system. Dopamine is involved with many aspects of mood, behavior, and perception. Even small shifts in dopamine sensitivity or levels can have profound effects on how you see the world, or your partner.The key word is bonding. Bonding is more than a behavior. It is a mammalian program, the program that permits parenting and living in groups. When dopamine drops, you are likely to find your partner less rewarding—and your bond unravels. So when you have sex, the attraction towards him is renewed. I don't need that often because I fall in love with him again and again and again and all I need is his smile. That smile of his never seems to fail in cheering me up and making feel like he is the "one" for me.
I do hope Mr Right stays with me till the day I step out of the closet so that even if I enter a new battlefield after stepping out, my prince charming will be there to back me up and we can get through the storm together. In the past, both of us walked a lonely path. Today, I feel that he made me much less lonely and I really really really love that innocent boy that never fails to stop eating baby carrots. A bunny indeed!
To my bunny boyfriend: I love you! :)
I know for one that my family isn't very receptive of homosexuality (I guess it is a typical asian parent thing). I won't be having it easy when I come out though I did leave a few traces of my being one here and there for them to speculate since I am pretty much the normal boy save the fact I love dicks. Each time I did, I rated their response and so far, it doesn't look very promising. Well, I just hope they take in those information and piece together and finally come to terms with it before my actual "coming out" so that it will be less of a problem when it does happen. Eventually and I envision it to be soon. Maybe in about 5 years? There are times when I do feel like I am tired. Tired of all these 'pretentious lies' that I am "going out with my friends" when it is my boyfriend I am going out with. "Oh, this is just a friend", "I'm going overseas with friends". All of these lies. I can't really tell lies so each time I do manage to slip over one, I feel like I die a little inside. I just hope my coming out to be a better story than I hope it'll be.
Btw, I think my boyfriend is a smart, cute and adorable little boy. I just want to hug him and snuggle up to him every moment of my life. He is however on the depressed side and tend to think of negative things. I guess it is just his personality. But I do love every aspect of him except for him always running late for dates and his negative outlook on almost everything. But, asides from all that, he really is a sweet boy. A little on the scrawny side but I like to call it slim twink-ish. I do have similar body shape but I have more pronounced pectorals and biceps despite the fact he in physically exercising and I am not really doing it on as regular a basis as I want it to be (I do chest building exercises like maybe once in two weeks). It is true that in a relationship, sex can be excluded. However, if a relationship is to last long, sex is necessary.
Why do I say that? Well, when sex is performed, it releases a lot of dopamine. The central neurochemical player behind falling in—and out—of love is dopamine. Dopamine is the principal neurochemical that activates your reward circuitry, the centerpiece of the limbic system. Dopamine is involved with many aspects of mood, behavior, and perception. Even small shifts in dopamine sensitivity or levels can have profound effects on how you see the world, or your partner.The key word is bonding. Bonding is more than a behavior. It is a mammalian program, the program that permits parenting and living in groups. When dopamine drops, you are likely to find your partner less rewarding—and your bond unravels. So when you have sex, the attraction towards him is renewed. I don't need that often because I fall in love with him again and again and again and all I need is his smile. That smile of his never seems to fail in cheering me up and making feel like he is the "one" for me.
I do hope Mr Right stays with me till the day I step out of the closet so that even if I enter a new battlefield after stepping out, my prince charming will be there to back me up and we can get through the storm together. In the past, both of us walked a lonely path. Today, I feel that he made me much less lonely and I really really really love that innocent boy that never fails to stop eating baby carrots. A bunny indeed!
To my bunny boyfriend: I love you! :)
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Pinkdot 2013 and the list of "I like"s
Pinkdot 2013 was a massive event. According to Calcy Tay on InSing.com, "A record 21,000 people turned up at this year’s Pink Dot event held over the weekend at Speakers’ Corner". The last time I went to pinkdot was in 2010 when pinkdot came for the third time. I remember how I had to go out of the house in a non-pink t-shirt and later change to a pink t-shirt because it was the precarious time when my parents found out about my boyfriend and I, and, going for the event would definitely not help to ease the situation.
As you can see from the photos that pinkdot has grown over the years. I went to pinkdot in 2010 in its third year and already, the dot was no longer a "dot", it was an out of shape circle. In 2011, I didn't partake in the event because my boyfriend and I both forgot about the event. So, we didn't go. But it certainly is growing bigger. Then, it was already a sea of pink. This year, with 6,000 more attendees than the previous year, it was definitely much more crowded with people spilling into the streets. I am truly happy to see the amount of people who are like me, being supported by this great community. I can say that I am proud to be part of such a loving community. Though, I am not so sure it will continue to be a success in the following years. Of course, it has gained global attention. A few gays living overseas even came back for the event. But still, as the event gains supporters, it will be more difficult to hold all these people in the park alone as having the event outside the park is considered against the law and illegal. I do hope the event gets support from the government and can finally progress and get the necessary approval to hold the event at a larger venue.
Now, I will be moving on to more about myself. It's the list of "I like". This list will not be as extensive as the list of "I hate" because I really hate a lot of things, even my boyfriend complains about it.
I like my boyfriend.
I like d**ks
I like gummy bears
I like lean and fit boys
I like berries
I like yoghurt
I like ice cream
I like roast duck
I like roast chicken
I like pork chops
I like bak kut teh(pork rib soup: Singaporean dish) One of the hawkers that is going to challenge Gordon Ramsay in the Singtel Hawker cook-off challenge? I think It'll probably be too easy for Ramsay. I say, we see him ake Roti Prata! Let's laugh at the Michelin Starred Chef making holey pratas (indian flat bread that is chewy and crispy on the outside)
I like blue
I like s**
I like mango
I like thai food
I like chinese food
I like steaks and chops
I like vegetables (a legacy of my mum's teachings when we were young)
I like soup
I like mushrooms
I like japanese food
I like korean bbq (not their food because some of them are too sweet for my liking)
I like travelling the world
I like reading
I like drawing
I like architecture
I like quiet and serene places
I like being loved by my boyfriend
I like being hugged
Well, it is quite extensive already so I shan't continue. But, here you are, a list of what I like... to be continued. I seriously didn't expect myself to come up with so much things that I like. Wait till you see the list of "I hate". Hahas. Till next time!
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