Confessions

With the onslaught of confession pages that popped up in the last year itself, it's a wonder how this is my first confession ever. It's not really a confession per se, but, I don't think I'll be able to handle saying all these in one sitting to my boyfriend though I really do mean every single word I typed here.

Hi Boyfriend XXX,

I'm not sure if you will see this post at all. I think I'll start by saying that I'm lucky to have you in my life. The past few weeks and months of our time together has probably been the roughest patch we've ever hit so far, and, I guess I am lucky that we still held on even midst all those uncertainties, anger and sadness. From the past few weeks XXX, I've come to realize that you mean the world to me. Even as you had feelings for someone else, I'm glad that you came through and still chose me in the end. For that, I'm happy enough. Actually, I'm very happy. Though it still doesn't change the fact that I hate it when you two spend time together. It's a gut wrenching, heart stabbing pain...

For the next many weeks, which you will be on course... I'll really miss you. So, I want to do something special for you on the weekends before you head for the course. I hope you will enjoy what I've come up with. I'm not a great baker but I hope they represent my love and will be tasty...

What I really want to say is that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You say that as I go through university I might find someone else, but I find everyone else dull compared to you. You might say that I will choose someone else in the end, but, after this three years, I've come to realize that no one else will suffice except you. Even if they look better or behave better...no one...NO ONE will ever replace my deary XXX!

So anyways, I just want to end this off with a lyrics of a song. Alicia Keys - If I ain't got you.

"Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
No one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby"

I hope through this we grow stronger together, I still am working towards owning a house together so that we can share every single moment together. Let's make that materialize ok XXX?

Your bf,
C