Mothers and Boyfriend

For the whole of yesterday, my boyfriend and I shared our time together to spend time having coffee and sitting around in a cafe. We don't have a place we can share together to have some rest and relax time. My house is out of bounds because my parents have great prejudice about my boyfriend. Not that they know he is my boyfriend, but, I think they suspect he is. They also think he is a bad influence on me. Especially the fact that when I was admitted to hospital for a seizure, he was with me so, I am guessing my mother attributed the occurrence to his presence. My parents have told me a few times in the past to stay away from him, but in reality, I love him with all my heart, and, it would kill me to stay away from him more than 5 days. The longest I've gone without actually touching him (as in holding hands or hugging) is 2 weeks and that was because of confinement in BMT. Besides, I'm lonely without him. He just makes my life so much more interesting and colourful. I don't think I can imagine a life without him. It would just be so grey and boring. So, that concludes the reason why he isn't allowed in my house. I just don't want a rift to split us apart. I rather we spend time outside together but still be able to see each other.

He on the other hand doesn't want to cause suspicion within his christian family which I agree because it would just be too troublesome. With the religious side and the overall singaporean culture and perspective towards such "deviant" behaviour, I don't think going and tell his family he is mine is the best option. We do however steal times when his entire family is out to just lie in each other's arms and enjoy the warmth and company. It's those times I feel the most loved and the happiest. But sadly, it is out of bounds on weekends when we meet up.

Its rather funny how we view our future mother-in-laws. I view my future mother-in-law differently than what my boyfriend views his mum. While I view her to be always in an infinite angry mode, he views her as just loud. I view her as an authoritative person because of her uniform job in the past which from what I know was quite high a rank. I view her as a tiger mum, maybe due to the fact the household is filled with smart asses. My boyfriend's sister is a literary genius, his brother a mathematics and physics Olympiad, and both parents are degree holders and the dad is even studying alternative medicine now! With so many smart asses, she would surely have something to do with their academic standings at least. Plus,she is huge, has a firm and loud voice and very menacing from my view point. But to my boyfriend, she's a nice lady whom he thinks treats his friends too well, always buying treats and snacks for them when they come over. I don't know whether it is fortunate or unfortunate that I haven't had the experience of my future mother-in-law buying treats and snacks for me while I am at his house. I do hope however next time when my boyfriend shifts to his new house, I'd be able to visit and just spend my Saturdays with him in his room playing ps4, wii or xbox or just chatting.

My take, she looks like the typical Singaporean tiger mother. Scary for a boy of my stature.

My mother has always been the loving on of both my parents. My dad had been struggling with army (when he signed on as a pilot), his degree and his part time job as long as I can remember when I was just 4-5. I consistently didn't get to spend time with him. So, most of my time was spent with my mum. Perhaps that is why I find my mum more of the loving one than my dad. Besides, its probably his job nature that makes him very tippy and easily frustrated due to the long working hours that when I was young, even spilling a glass of water would result in dire consequences. So, I view my dad as fierce and my mum as loving. My boyfriend who met them a few times. One time, he was interrogated by them (supposedly when I was half conscious due to the seizure). My boyfriend's image of my mum from then on is a fierce woman. Though my mum has a short stature and is rather thin for reasons such as slimming and what not, she can come across as fierce looking from first glance. So this is probably what she looks like to my boyfriend from what he describes to me.

I hope it didn't scare him too much because he would probably have to face her more often in the future. Besides, I get the feeling my mum is lowly coming to terms with the fact that I may be gay. I just didn't tell her yet. I got a feeling she knows and have been coming to terms with it (together with my dad). I don't think I want to find out now with all the uncertainties so I shall wait.

Next time I meet my future mother-in-law, I'll try my best to put aside my first evaluation of her. Hopefully, we hit off well and it would be a smoother transition as I intend to marry this cute son of hers. :D